Season 2, Episode 3 - HOPIA

Ikaw ba ay nalolongkot at walang magawa?

I should probably do something like this when things get boring. Any thoughts?



Silent Adventurer out!

Season 2, Episode 2 - PANGARAP

Silent Adventurer Hitlist of the Moment:

1. Pangarap Ko Ang Ibigan Ka - Erik Santos



2. Di Lang Ikaw - Erik Santos
3. Kahit Di Mo Sabihin - Juris
4. Best Thing I Never Had - Beyonce
5. Turning Tables - Adele

Silent Adventurer out!

Season 2, Episode 1 - AMBIVALENCE

“It’s impossible not to constantly wonder if there’s something better, someone better.”

A lot of people have been persistently asking me why I’m still single. At already 28 years old (yes, you read it right!), I’ve been asked by inquiring and sometimes nosy individuals about the status of my love life. Uhm, hello?  Ano bang magagawa nyo? Eh, ito ang ‘IN’ ngayon!

Kidding aside, I wanna say na pihikan lang siguro ako na tao. Choosy ba sa madaling salita. I’d also reason out that maybe I’m just too busy and my responsibilities-slash-priorities trump over love life. Or, in the words of Miss T, ‘mataas lang siguro ang standards ko.’ Or maaaybe, it’s just not the right time. Another close friend shared that perhaps ambivalent lang siguro ako and my ambivalence towards relationships could be interfering with my chances at meeting the right person. Weh?

But that last remark about me being ambivalent actually piqued my interest. Sa pagkaka-alam ko, yung pagiging ambivalent involves having mixed feelings na nagiging uncertain ka or indecisive ka concerning, let’s say, love life. Eh, normal naman yan ‘di ba?  Pero I still got curious and so, ni-research ko na.

In the book by a certain Susan Page entitled, “If I’m So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?”, she describes two groups of involuntary singles: those who want a relationship but haven’t found the right person yet, and those who consciously or unconsciously are ambivalent. Both types say they want a relationship but the ambivalent find these things equally or more important:

•    Not having to take Risks [check!]
•    Progressing in my Career [check!]
•    Hanging on to my great Lifestyle [check!]
•    Avoiding Pain [huhuhu…check!]
•    Keeping my Secrets to Myself [check!]

Wapak! Parang kinabag ako dun ha, sabay kamot sa ulo. Hayun, parang sampal lang ang dating sa akin at napagising din sa nabasa ko. Maybe I am indeed ambivalent towards relationships because these five points weirdly yet accurately describe how I engage myself in potential relationships. Pero si Mareng Susan Page, she points out that “ambivalence is not good or bad; it just is.” It’s just a matter of acknowledging the value of all these different perspectives. This action of acknowledgment in the face of ambivalence will hopefully help me decide where my heart really lies.

Truth be told, there are indeed moments when I say to myself, “I'm tired of being single.” I kinda miss having someone laugh at my corny jokes and silly hirits. I miss having that one person who is almost always happy to see me. I miss the comfortable silences. I miss that feeling of having someone beside me almost all the time. Sometimes, there are instances when it gets kind of awkward when you’re in a group and ikaw lang ang walang partner. I've had a lot of problems and successes along the way; and most of the time, I can't help but wish I had someone to share it with. Don’t take it the wrong way, my family and closest friends are such a big help to me and I love them very much. But you know naman how your special someone can be different from friends and family.

This is probably how the ambivalence scenario goes through in my head. I’d ask myself, “Why do I need someone? Smart naman ako. I’m able and capable. I have priorities and a career to uphold. Tapos, ang dami ko namang mga kaibigan. Going into a relationship would just complicate things. And I would know how I’d be a mess when a relationship ends so bakit ko pa papasukin yun? Masasaktan lang ako.” And then a tiny voice inside my head would mutter back in response, “Maybe I like to complicate things. Maybe adik nga ako sa pag-ibig. Baka nga masochista ako at gusto ko rin maranasang masaktan. Maybe, all the stress in a relationship is worth the happiness I get when my special someone smiles at me or laughs with me or does special things for me or simply holds my hand." O ‘di ba? Parang bi-polar ang dating?
   
So if one asks me again why I’m still single or when I’m getting into a relationship, I’d probably snap back, “Patience is a virtue.” Lol! But seriously, pupunta din ako jan. I’d like to believe there is already a conscious effort on my part and I’ll get there eventually. Addressing my views on myself, love, and relationships means making sure that I will also be relationship smart and relationship ready.

Silent Adventurer out!

Season 1, Episode 22 - REINTRODUCTION

Hello fans! (Hahaha!)

And now, I’m finally back from my hiatus! Kamusta naman ang pagha-hiatus ko ng halos sampung buwan?! Pasensya na at matagal-tagal din akong nawala. Nagbusy-busihan po ang lolo nyo! I would like to apologize to my AVID readers (avid daw o!) who have been patiently waiting for my new blog entry. Lima lang naman kayo at siguro naman ay wala kayong pakialam kung magpo-post ako o hindi!

Anyway, with all sincerity, I want to ask all of you, “Miss nyo mga blog entries ko?” They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, as what an old adage says, “Old habits never die.” Like how the world went since my last entry, stories still never end. And a lot of things have happened since – developments sa work, sa bahay, sa love life, sa negosyo, friends getting married, may mga nabuntis, may mga nanganak, may nag-break, may mga naging modelo, may naganap na tsunami, may naganap na ‘tsunami walk’…ang dami, I so wanted to write about all of these!

You know it’s a bit ironic returning here when this is supposed to be the last entry for season one. Pero life happened and yet, here I am ready to write and share my stories again. But enough of that and consider this as a sort of reintroduction na lang.

I am back and here to stay.

Silent Adventurer out!